Five Sentence Fiction #1 – SOMBRERO
What it’s all about: Five Sentence Fiction is about packing a powerful punch in a tiny fist. Each week the hostess will post a one word inspiration, then anyone wishing to participate will write a five sentence story based on the prompt word. The word does not have to appear in your five sentences, just use it for direction.
A bare-midriffed flamenco dancer gyrated in response to a Spanish guitarist, grabbing the attention of the throngs, as the festivities reached a fever pitch.
The crowd stomped and cheered as the dancer twirled round and round, castanets clicking feverishly…
In the throes of an ecstatic finale, her animated face contorted and glistened with tiny beaded droplets.
Nobody bothered much with a nearby spectator, who appeared uncomfortable and out of place, a broad grin plastered across his face which failed to reach the steely eyes, veiled by a straw sombrero.
Whistles and jeers carried the momentum forward, propelled the dancer to a frenzied heart-stopping moment… and a shot rang out!
Well, that was her last dance!
You packed a lot into those five sentences.
You sound very sure about that… *sly smile* 🙂
Oh excellent five sentences. I love how you build the tension, but the neding isn't predictable. Great job.
I'm glad the ending caught you by surprise… I think… (it did, didn't it?… surprise you?…)
You certainly captured the drama of this, and the pace was excellent! Well done.
I think Spanish dancing requires drama… such a fiery, passionate dance… thanks Sandra. Welcome to my place. I really loved your place too…
NOOOOO! I was there! I could see her dance, hear the music, and feel the beat. The shot missed! It wasn't for her, it was for someone else!
I always get into your writing lol! Love it! (:
YEEEEESSSS *laughing* The shot missed – yes! It was for someone else – no! Does that help? Put you out of your misery? A little?
ole! what happens next!??
Your guess is as good as mine… 🙂
You sure packed a lot of punch in those 5 brilliant sentences. I could just visualize the dance and hear the music.
I tried to keep the sentences as interesting as possible, without "over-cooking" them with too much info… thanks!
Hi Michelle, please let me know how I can follow your blog? I am unable to follow it via Blogger 🙁
You should get the Linky Followers Widget (I have one on my side-bar). It seems to be growing in popularity… lots of bloggers have it.
Another option is to subscribe to blog updates via e-mail (also on my side-bar). Let me know what happens… thanks for visiting!
That was quite intense, Michelle. Putting myself there, I imagine that it would have taken a moment or two for the crowd to understand what happened.
I'm so glad you were "in the moment" and experienced the intensity… the crowd would have been mesmerised by the performance and caught offguard when the shot rang out… you're so right, it would have taken them a moment or two to comprehend…
Colorful and exciting all the way through and a cliffhanger at the end! Who could want more? Very fun piece.
Thank you for the exciting comment. Glad you were entertained by the piece.
…And a shot rang out. Love the suspense!
Suspense is the name of my game… 🙂
Great pacing and tension…makes me want to hear more of the story!
Thanks Donna!
Beautiful description depicting the frenzy and romance of Spanish dance and creating the right atmosphere for a very dramatic conclusion!
Hey Ryan, nice of you to visit! Thanks for the comment! I'm off to your blog now——–
Feverishly festive, I could picture the dance as I read the words you wrote.
Love the alliterative description… says it all! 🙂
Who got shot? Not the dancer.
FYI… Lady Luck was on her side… she survived the ordeal!
A very colourful description, makes me feel as though I am there. Well done!
Thanks Carolyn! 🙂
Awesome! And in 5 sentences too. Great job as usual. 🙂
It's the first time that I'm attempting this Five Sentence Fiction – quite enjoyed it! 🙂
You had me sitting on the edge of my seat waiting for the surprise ending. Loved the pace of this one.
-Debbie
I'm so happy you popped in, Debbie! Glad you were caught up in the moment… 🙂
Gorgeous descriptions! I could see the scene play out in my mind. The ending went out with a bang!! (no pun intended) Nice work!!
Thanks for visiting Stephanie. I also enjoyed your colourful, skillfully crafted sombrero-tale!
Excellent desciption of the scene, Michelle, the passion is dripping off the words!
Did the Spanish Guitar get it? Haha
That cracked me up, Catherine… yes, the guitar "got it" allright, and began "playing to a different tune". Haha!
Oh noooooo!!! I loved this! Could feel the dancer's intense passion. Then snuffed out like a candle, in a blink of an eye. . . . Brilliant. x
Welcome to my place, Lizzie. Thanks for the visit and wonderful comment! I also enjoyed your "throw it in the bin" take on this prompt.. Lovely…